Social DNA...dramatic new breakthrough...

...as early this morning scientists at the University of Illesota Department of Pseudoscience found that buying too much high tech stuff is linked to dramatic rises in crime, alcoholism and click ad fraud. Measures are now being taken to compel each citizen to compile a register of their social DNA which will include orchestral instruments, openness in relationships, Top 10 movies and toilet etiquette. All this is of course intended to waste more of the citizen's precious time and money to stimulate economic growth and this blog must declare an interest here as we receive secret payments in kind from the coffee and chocolate lobby (we should be so lucky!) which, by the way, is a hint LOL! (Whatever that means? Answers on a postcard containing a stamped addressed envelope containing a few used fivers to the DEFRA Bird Flu Hedge Fund c/o Cookienomics, Lichtenstein.) Not compiling your social DNA profile is not a criminal offence, but if you refuse to do so, you may be imprisoned for a period not exceeding 28 days detention roulette which could be doubled to 56 days very soon, vampires. You have been warned. Get your social DNA profile done for you by our experts. Just fill in our easy Social Optimization DNA Obviously Free Form and join our Facebook group today.