...is readily available in Siberia at the phishing branch of most High Street banks for as little as $75. You will need two CD copies of the ID of 25 million people to set up your own branch or you can get details from a Russian-registered vendor "offering UK and US bank logins with 'good price and service!'" At some time of course you will need Money for online banking.
(Cookie's First Law: For most things you need money.)
(Cookie's Second Law: For most things Richard Branson always has money.)
(Cookie's Third Law: Try buying Branson's ID in Siberia.)
Money has been known to work as an aphrodisiac, especially in the part of Amsterdam to the left of the Damrak as you come from Centraal Station. It can also be exchanged for drugs, alcohol, coffee and chocolate. For these pleasures offline banking, or even better, hard cash is recommended. Hard cash is the kind that can be exchanged for drugs...etc.
Online banking, like blogging, has its health hazards but is very handy if you want to buy sexy underwear on eBay.