...Whales do it, jobs do it, even educated gates do it. Let's do it, let's all get high. Human search is gonna be the next big thing as our Gossip killer app hits the streets before Christmas in Beta. And who better to do the manufacturing than our old mates, the Chinese. The first product in our range of Virtual Intoxication Toys will be based on Aqua Dots the well known popular toy beads that contain liquid Fantasy or GBH. These have already been banned in America and Australia so this must be some serious shit, folks. We asked CEO van der Zuikerberg just what the fuck was going on here, and he was quoted as saying, "It's quite simple. Everyone gets sucking the Chinese kiddie love beads, gets high and then writes up their best friend's profile on My Spacepedia, giving the whole social networking bubble a much needed kick in the arse."
By further undermining the already dodgy reputation of online infopedias Zuikerberg intends to dumb down everything, everywhere, all the time and thus create the Totally Dumb Information Vortex just in time for Year Zero.