...started shortly after 911 BC when Julius Caesar was murdered by the Illuminati. A secret society based inside the tomb of Tutankhamun took over the world and invented the Republican party. This annoyed the Roman emperor who invented the bible to convince everyone that they had to give everything to Caesar, who by then had been reborn as the Roman emperor. When this scam no longer worked the Emperor wrote his name with a capital letter and invented the Catholic Church so he could have a regular supply of choir boys. In 911 AD he changed his name to the Pope and claimed he knew God's telephone number. When the Templars found God's email address the Pope had them all burnt at the stake. Meanwhile Leonardo da Vinci painted a picture of the pope in drag and sold it to the Louvre for 1789 euros and they renamed the pope Mona Lisa and got Nat King Cole to sing a song about him. When Nelson defeated Napoleon at Waterloo Station in a game of poker he would have brought the Mona Lisa to London but it went down with the Titanic at the Battle of Trafalgar. So the secret Da Vinci code was lost till Turing cracked Enigma during the Battle of Britain thus allowing the Freemasons to go on tour with Glenn Miller. They also went on to go on tour with John F. Kennedy, Marylin Munroe, Martin Luther King and John Lennon, all of whom died mysterious deaths shortly afterwards. The pope then changed his name to Bush and went on to win the Florida recount for Miss Drag Queen, 9/11 2001. Since then the world has been run by a supercomputer called Blow Jobs and everything you experience is just an illusion created by the mice.
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