Cookiepedia...the internet...

...The internet was invented by Al Gore, Made in China and is run by the Pentagon in the US and by the CIA in the rest of the world. It is mostly used for watching porn, selling stuff and throwing sheep at your friends on Facebook. The internet has a zero privacy policy. It is highly addictive and requires large amounts of coffee to be understood.

View Larger Map
WWW should not be confused with the internet. WWW stands for World War Won and was a secret group of Nazi scientists working for Al Gore to create viruses that would destroy the internet. WWW was sold to Google in 1984. To use the internet you need to be under 16 and fluent in HTML, which is short for Hotmail, and is used for spreading viruses. On no account open a hotmail as it can cause impotence and brain drain. The internet is housed in a building called Web 2.0 which stands on a paradigm shift that is expected to cause a tsunami soon.

Cookiepedia...online banking...

...is readily available in Siberia at the phishing branch of most High Street banks for as little as $75. You will need two CD copies of the ID of 25 million people to set up your own branch or you can get details from a Russian-registered vendor "offering UK and US bank logins with 'good price and service!'" At some time of course you will need Money for online banking.
(Cookie's First Law: For most things you need money.)
(Cookie's Second Law: For most things Richard Branson always has money.)
(Cookie's Third Law: Try buying Branson's ID in Siberia.)
Money has been known to work as an aphrodisiac, especially in the part of Amsterdam to the left of the Damrak as you come from Centraal Station. It can also be exchanged for drugs, alcohol, coffee and chocolate. For these pleasures offline banking, or even better, hard cash is recommended. Hard cash is the kind that can be exchanged for drugs...etc.
Online banking, like blogging, has its health hazards but is very handy if you want to buy sexy underwear on eBay.

Cookiepedia...Amsterdam...

...Considered by many to be a figment of the imagination especially this week as this lovely Thanksgiving website that looks like a Christmas tree shows. A residential home for old hippies, the City of Amsterdam is in fact a theme park that is far more fun than the one run by a certain mouse in Florida and Paris. Also the home of the famous Cookie mouse, Amsterdam has more mice per square mile than anywhere on earth. A mecca for dreamers, metrosexuals and those who have difficulty in speaking Dutch, Mokum is also famous for bicycles and bicycle thieves. It is the only city on earth where a pickpocket will steal your pocketbook and your bicycle and then offer to sell it back to you for 10 euros on the Koningsplein. Spinoza came from Amsterdam but got thrown out for proving that God is everywhere and doesn't give a damm. (Or was that a dam!) Anne Frank kept a diary in Amsterdam which is why the Prinsengracht near the Westerkerk is always so crowded and should be avoided at all costs if you are in a hurry. The cheapest organic beer in Amsterdam is available on the Overtoom in OT 301. Cannabis is available everywhere so please buy plenty of chocolate. Coffee is the Dutch business drug of choice and also goes very well with chocolate. As the euro is going up we recommend you should visit Amsterdam now or never if you are on a budget.